Banned From Clocktown
That's right, it's a Banned From Argo parody. If you aren't familiar, you can listen to the original here... though, be warned, the humor is quite bawdy and some of the lyrics have not aged well.
Anyway. Hopefully someone other than me finds this one funny.
When we came into Clock Town, seeking out some room and board
We only wanted beds, a roof, and a place to put our swords
Our expectations weren't high, but it still seems we misjudged
And now our lives are an excercise in towns holding a grudge!
CHORUS:
And we're banned from Clock Town, every one!
Banned from Clock Town just for having a little fun
We came to stay a couple days before we hit the road
But Clock Town said it's time for us to go
Our eldest hero seems straightlaced -- he's married, with a wife
But it would seem he's got a side for games and avarice
The game was simple: pick a chest, keep whatever's inside
He walked out with a cheater's grin and the ten grand rupee prize
CHORUS
Our traveler went to visit with a dame in a red dress
Who advertised to passers-by with winks and ample breast
He soon rejoined us troubled, looking like he'd seen a bout
Turns out he'd asked for healing, and they'd laughed and kicked him out
CHORUS
Our veteran of six adventures has a policy
Of taking certain discounts when he doesn't like a fee
The shopkeep, he was furious and swore that we'd all pay
Our THIEVing hero took one look and swiftly ran away
CHORUS
The smithy's mostly sensible, if mischievous at times
So nobody expected to hear quite the list of crimes
He'd been with us all day, though, so we had an alibi
Or so we thought until we saw three more of him run by
CHORUS
Between the pyromaniac, the wolf and buccaneer
Our goddess-blessed chosen knight had seemed the sane man here
The owner of the milk bar had him thrown out on his ear
And now he owes the debt for yet another chandelier
CHORUS
We've all been known to ransack pots, and bushes are fair game
The habit is quite lucrative, but given a bad name
Our captain swore the mess he'd made was vital to our quest
The local guard did not agree, and called for our arrest
CHORUS
Our cook has quite the wardrobe, where the others stick to green
He'd shown a few nice armors but the rest remained unseen
'Til we saw some new darling lass hung on the mayor's arm
Seduction didn't save us, but at least he did no harm
CHORUS
Our line goes back to days of yore; our legacy as well
But as you see, when we're in town, it all goes straight to hell
We're sorry for the broken pots, the fires and the theft
At least we're sure this town will be so glad to hear we've left!
CHORUS
Wonder why...?