Alphonse Elric's Fantastic Feline Heist

<h3>Alphonse Elric's Fantastic Feline Heist</h3>//<small>An interactive fanfiction by Anonymous. Title may be subject to change.</small>//(set:$food to 0)(set:$bath to 0)(set:$bed to 0)(set: $kitten_home to 0) --- The month is a brisk, rainy February; the place, just outside a military office in Central, and you have three cats inside your chest cavity. ... Okay, maybe you should [[back this up a little bit.->RecordScratch]]

You step inside, ducking under the doorway. At least this place has double doors, so you don't have to turn yourself sideways to fit through the front entrance. Moving around is simpler once you're inside. Whoever made these ceilings so tall and hallways so wide probably wasn't thinking about //you//, in particular, but you appreciate them anyway. One of the kittens jostles inside you and mews, very faintly. You can hear it through the armor like pressing your ear to a wall, clear and reverbrating. Right, you've got to keep them quiet, too. Three paths are open ahead. You could go forward to the kitchens, to [[get them some food->Food First]]; upstairs to your room, to make a [[bed for them to hide in->Bed First]]; or down the hall to the washrooms, to [[get them cleaned up->Bath First]].

(set:$food to 1)//Food first//, you decide. All you have to do is go into the kitchen, get something for the kittens to eat, and then leave. This would be much easier if you weren't a walking suit of armor that can't eat. (SCENE - Hawkeye is there. Pointedly refuses to make this her problem. You can convince her to take the kittens to a friend if given the chance.) [[Bath Second]] [[Bed Second]]

(set:$bed to 1)You'll find them somewhere to sleep, first. Then you can go get the other stuff and bring it to them. (Well, you'll have to take them with you to get them cleaned up, but you can leave them for a little bit while you get food.) You're not really stealthy, but you like to think you do an okay job of not looking suspicious as you make your way up the stairs to you and Ed's room. Unlucky for you, it sounds... [busy?]<c1|[ Oh, right! Winry was coming to look over Ed's arm today. It's been squeaking weird and acting up all week, so you guess it makes sense for her to be here today.](cloaked1|(click:?c1)[(show:?cloaked1)] [You nudge at the door[.](hide1|]<c2|[, and it //creeeaks// open. On the bed, Ed sits and fumes while Winry fumes harder, cracking open his automail arm to inspect something inside. She doesn't even glance up at the noise, but Ed does. He gives you a rare pleading look. You shake your head as quietly as you can. One of the kittens meows, all tiny and whiny and clearly not happy to be here. (Maybe it's because Winry smells like Den?) Winry jerks upright, and the magnifying lenses she's wearing make it feel like she's staring right through you and into your head. You flinch, very slightly, despite yourself. [["Uh..."->Bed First (2)]]](cloaked2|(show:?hide1)(click:?c2)[(hide:?hide1)(show:?cloaked2)]

(set:$bath to 1)//Bath first//, you decide. You need to get these little guys cleaned up before they get sick or something. (SCENE - Hughes is there, turns a playful blind eye.) [[Food Second]] [[Bed Second]]

(SCENE - Fuery and Havok are there and can be charmed by kittens. Havok offers to take them to his sister to find a home from there.) Now all that's left is to get these little guys (if:?food is 0)[some [[food.->Food Last]]](else:)[a [[place to hide for the night.->Bed Last]]]

(SCENE - Ed leaves to get chewed out by Mustang, Winry goes to kitchen to get drink. Coast is clear, BUT if the next step is feeding they might get caught later.) Wow, two out of three already. Now you just need to (if:?bath is 0)[[[give these little guys a bath.->Bath Last]]](else:)[[[get some food.->Food Last]]]

(SCENE - the kitche is empty. Coast is clear, until Winry shows up to make herself something to drink?) Now all these little fluffballs need is (if:?bath is 0)[[[a bath->Bath Last]]](else:)[[[somewhere to sleep->Bed Last]]]

(SCENE - Ed is pitching a fit in the men's washroom, so you go to the women's and hope nobody notices. Encounter Maria Ross (panic, awkward), who offers a home for the kittens?) [[Fin1]]

(SCENE - Ed is out, so is Winry. Coast is clear. Kittens are clean and fed, ready for bed.) [[Fin1]]

(SCENE - in the Kitchen, Roy Mustang is getting his second cup of coffee for the day. You get caught, but if there's a home lined up, he'll willingly turn a blind eye. If not, you arrive early enough that Winry is still around and will vouch for you?) [[Fin1]]

You are Alphonse Elric, brother to and frequently mistaken for the Fullmetal Alchemist (Edward Elric, and he's honestly only a third metal at best), and you are on a mission. Not an official mission, but in your opinion, a very important one. These poor, poor kittens were just sitting there in a box! On the side of the road! And really, were you just going to leave them there? Cold, wet, grimy, and alone? You couldn't stand the thought of abandoning them. Unfortunately, you suspect Colonel Mustang (currently inside, where it is warm and not raining) is [less sympathetic.]<c2|[ Colonel Roy Mustang is not a cruel man, exactly, but he is not a soft-hearted one either. You do not think he will appreciate three kittens in his office, even if you take proper care of them, and feed them yourself, and //promise// they won't knock over the paperwork this time. (Though, to be fair, you're not sure any tears were shed over the paperwork.) [Anyway.]<c3|](cloaked2|[ You're standing on the front step of the nondescript military building where your brother (and by extension, you) have been staying for the past several months. It looks more or less like all the other nondescript military buildings you've stayed at since your brother's entrance into the military, but you're confident you're standing in front of the right one. Uh, this time. [[Time to go in.]]](cloaked3|(click:?c2)[(show:?cloaked2)](click:?c3)[(show:?cloaked3)]

[[Food Second]] [[Bath Second]]

(Story paths re-merge here. If you have a home lined up: BEST ENDING variant. If not, GOOD/OKAY ENDING variant.)